Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
