i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
