It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
