Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
