Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
