oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize