what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
