I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
