so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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