I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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