One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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