Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
