Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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