So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
