i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
