in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
