WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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