At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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