He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
