yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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