just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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