I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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