i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am midnight drunk by noon
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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