i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
