this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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