Welp...herpes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
