Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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