dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A bitchslap is in order.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
