Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize