i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
pray to the hookup gods
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
