id be glad to
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
