So drunk, too bad you don't want this
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
