And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
