So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
