Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
