I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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