i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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