Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
