i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
