sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
