At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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