There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
