I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
