I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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