We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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