So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
