is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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