Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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