she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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