someone owes me an orgasm
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize