fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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