She's JV to your varsity
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
