Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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