she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
