Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
