I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize