so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
