If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
