Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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