You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize