So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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