so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Randomize
